Motherhood: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I would like to sit here and tell you how I'm on top of life in all aspects, but this is what motherhood looks like some days.  I would like to tell you how my children eat healthy, gourmet, meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  But, who are we kidding!?  Some days Most days, as long as they are clothed and fed, then I am succeeding in life.  Unless, you're my two year old, then clothes are a foreign object that you want nothing to do with.  So, the "clothed" statement doesn't apply to him.  You can never plan for the unexpected, like waking up late.  When my oldest son, Tyler, has a therapist coming over to our house, you have a few quick decisions to make.  Top priority decision, food.  Leftover pizza and one pop tart for each kid.  There were three pieces of pizza left, and three kids who needed food. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is! OR I can whip up some eggs, but the time it would take me to make them, I could be brushing Tyler's teeth, changing his diaper, throwing clean clothes on him, and finding my bra.  Pizza and pop tarts it is!  Kids are happy with their breakfast, and Tyler's ready.  Now, I need them to stay occupied during Tyler's therapy session.  That's where the laptop comes into play.  I know, I know, I planted my kids butts in front of a laptop to watch an un-educational show.  JUDGE ME!  Did it work?  I hoped.  Not as good as I thought.  Especially, the part when Evan wiped his poo on my leg.  People, I don't understand how when Evan, my two year old, is completely nude, he goes to the bathroom every single time by himself.  God forbid you put underpants on him, because he will go to the bathroom in those underpants EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.  You know what else you can't plan for?  A child who wakes up on the wrong side of the bed.  Example: Evan cries for pop tart, I give him pop tart, he cries again and says no. I put pop tart back on counter, then he cries for pop tart again. Evan starts eating and walks away happy.  By the way, this happened quite a few times today with my two year old.  When he pooped and I had to clean him up, when he wanted the entire bottle of germ-x, instead of the suggested one squirt.  Shame on me for handing him the pop tart wrong, this morning!  *slams head on wall*  Motherhood is hard freaking work, man.  If the best you can do is left over pizza and a pop tart, then good for you!  You're alive, they're alive, and you're surviving.  Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully a better one.  I'm making up for their breakfast by making them an awesome dinner, but I won't lie and say that I haven't taken the easier route, every single meal.